The bonds of time

How does a family break up?


The story started with grandpa Chan who worked in a rice importing shop at Petaling Street.He had a stern face but was hardworking.According to mom ,they had a quiet life after retirement but their love diminished into a cold war when he had psoriasis and felt she was reluctant to help him dress his sores.Two strangers living under the same roof who used the grandchildren to pass messages to each other .he pored over traditional chinese herbs,brewed concoctions and used himself as a guinea pig for his poultices.The one striking memory is in his meticulous recording in chinese writing of the acupuncture points of the human body and the other of his wonderful green fingers in which he poured his heart into growing vivid dahlias,zinnias,gladiloli,japanese roses and even delphinium in the small patch of land in front of the shophouse in which half was occupied by  Merlin photos and the other half was our tailor shop.Grandma the matriach was a food connoiseur who lovingly made niengao,fried peanut puffs and all the New Year delicacies.I kept the grinding stone mill in my home as a momento of the rice flour she ground to steam the nian gao.I inherited the love of plants and greenery from my grandpa's deep abiding passion in flowering plants.
    Mom was frugal and my earliest memory was of  her sewing our swimming costumes and buying pink organza to sew our Chinese New Year dresses.How Hardworking their generation was as the shop only closed on Sunday when all the cousins,aunts and uncles would gather at our shophouse and everyone pitched in to cook a feast ,the coconut pancakes,the hairy gourd pancakes sprinkled with dried prawns and waxed sausage bits.They devoted their time and energy to the children and immediate family -the homecooked nasi lemak and barbeque at  Templer's park and Port Dickson or when mom saved her money to takes us to see Disney on ice or a Chinese acrobatic show.
     Every New Year ,she went to yap Ah Loy's temple the Sze Ya temple at Petaling Street to ask for blessings for the New Year.Dad was the gung ho guyb  who loved fishing,the outdoors swimming and hunting and a deep passion for eating.Now one's ashes are scatttered at sea and the other
s ashes at the Kwangtung temple cemetery.The extended family on both sides are unhappy with us for breaking them apart in death.