One Self:Two Cultures

Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston  describes the conflicts of being torn between two diametrically different world of East and West in her article"One self:two cultures."

I was spending most of my time with my new Caucasian friends and learning new values that clashed with those of my parents.It was also time that I asumed the duties girls were supposed to do,like cleaning,cooking,washing and ironing clothes.I cannot remember my brothers performing domestic chores while I lived at home.Their reciprocation came in a different way.They were very protective of me and made me feel good and important for being a female.My brothers taught me to ride a bicycle and to drive a car,and took me to my  first dance.
   My brothers encouraged me to run for school office,to try out for majorette and song leader,and to run for queen of various festivities.They were proud I was breaking social barriers still closed to them.It was acceptable for an Oriental male to excel academically and in sports.But to gain recognition socially in a society that had been fed the stereotyped model of the Asian male as cook,houseboy or crazed kamikaze pilot was almost impossible.The more alluring myth of mystery and exotica that surrounds the Oriental female made it easier,though no less inwardly painful for me.
   What my brothers were saying was that I should not act towards Caucasian males as I did toward them.I must not wait on them or allow them to think I would,because they wouldn't understand.In other words,be a Japanese female around Japanese men and act Hakujin around Caucasian men.This double identity within a double standard resulted not only in confusion for me of my role as a female,but also in who or what I was racially.I would try to be aggressive,assertive and come on strong toward Caucasian men.i musn't let them think I was submissive,passive and all-giving like Madame Butterfly.With Asian males,I would tone down my natural enthusiasm and settle into patterns instilled in me through the models of my mother and my sisters.I was uncomfortable in either role.
     Although i was attracted to males who looked like someone in a Coca Cola ad,I yearned for the expression of their potency to be like that of Japanese men,like that of my father;unpredictable,dominant,and brilliant-yet sensitive and poetic.I wanted a blond samurai.
       When I met my blond samurai,during those college years in San Jose,I was surprised to see how readily my mom accepted the idea of our getting married.
      She felt that my husband to be was strong enough because he was acting against the norms of his culture,perhaps even against his parent's wishes.From her vantage point,where family and group opinion outweighed the individual's,this willingness to oppose them was truly a show of strength.
         I realized a very basic difference in attitude between Japanese and American cultures toward serving another.In a Japanese family,to serve another could be uplifting,a gracious gesture that elevated oneself.For many white Americans,it seems that serving another is degrading,an indication of dependency or weakness in character or a low place in the social ladder.
       My father used to say'Serving humanity is the greatest virtue.Giving service of yourself is more worthy than selling the service or goods of another."
         Now,I entertain according to how I feel that day.If my Japanese sensibility is stronger,I act accordingly and feel comfortable.If I feel like gong all-American,I can do that too,and feel comfortable.I have come to accept the cultural hybridness of my personality,to recognize it as a strength and not weakness.Because I'm culturally neither pure Japanese nor pure American does not mean I am less of a person.It means I have been enriched with the heritage of both.
         My children's biracialism is,indeed,a factor in their identity and self-image,but I feel their struggle will be more to sustain human dignity in a world rapidly dehumanizing itself with mechanization and technology.My hope is they have inherited a strong will to survive,that essential trait that ethnic minorities in this country have so sharply honed.


-In reading her article,I feel that she has come to terms with both cultures and has accepted both culture's strengths and weaknesses.The ethnic minority would appreciate the potential of multi diversity,not being afraid to acknowledge the weakness of one's culture and being proud of its strengths.
     So to be harrassed by insensitive provokers with stereotypical comments and jaundiced viewpoints,the best response is not to fall into their mud slinging taunts and rise above the fray by keeping our cool and let it fall on deaf ears.It only reflects badly on the provokers rather than the victim of abuse.Let the mad rants on the colour of the skin,the slanting eyes or  bearded face make fools of themselves and not let our confidence be shaken.Everyone is beautiful,each in its own ways.Dare to be different and think different.Only those with deep insecurities will make themselves look good by making others feel bad