The past haunts

 Of a distressing time that when there is a closet of skeletons in your home,you try not to open the door or the past will haunt you

Ive kept the old photos hidden in the back of some books in my bookshelf and while decluttering,came across the long lost love notes and photos on of all days Fathers day

Reading the note a hopeful small child wrote on his wishes for his dad to recover and take him to Camerons for a holiday made me break my heart all over again.When you have buried your past,dont open the pandoras box.Its like finding a can of worms that slither out of the dark corners and akin to digging ones own grave.To relive that intense pain of loss is excruciating and memories keep flooding back.

   Last nite,Jun was looking for old documents and discovered the old photos n notes.I woke up to sobs as he recalled the loving messages of speedy recovery that he wrote .I comforted him,hugged him and reassured him that all was ok .I wamted to burn the old photos n notes but he begged me not to lose the memories of his childhood

I asked him to forgive us for not giving him a happy childhood and he acknowledged life is at times beyond our control.Who doesnt wish for a happily ever after ending.

But as his Thai rishi comforted him with buddhist truism,he came to see that contentment is the highest happiness

Dont wish that you would be happier if you were born into a complete family and rich parents.Sometimes these kids face immense pressure of parental expectations until they self harm.His Thai spiritual guru advised him to appreciate the here and now as his life might have been worse off than now had he been born to alcoholic parents,drug addicts or habitual gamblers who abuse their children and gave them traumatic childhood.

Im glad he saw the other side of it,He hugged me and thanked me for doing my best to give him what i could afford,not branded clothing,top notch private schools or supercars but a roof over the head,food on the table,a second hand car and a college education but the best part was i blew all my hard earned annual bonus on wonderful holidays on seeing snowcapped mountain in Nepal,climb up 4 hours to Tigers nest monastery,see huge

standing buddha in Sichuan,ride an elephant in Sri Lanka,ocean walk in Bali or see golden rock of Myanmar,bamboo raft in river of Chiang Mai and view Angkor Wat in its majesty.Those memories will be with you till you die unlike wealth that you cant bring with you to the afterworld.