Outdoor animal defence

when you are exercising outdoors,you must prepare special clothing against animal attacks.the public enemy number one are troops of monkeys.secure your belongings not in tote bags but a monkey proof hard backpack with sharp durian spikes.that will teach them a painful lesson when they touch it.its like holding a porcupine. the next vital element is a waterproof cap.if you are doing workout under huge trees,beware of aerial bombings.those sticky bombs land splat on your head as these aviators practise target shooting after a session of eat and shit. or you may even get lucky like me and strike gold when you step on some stink bomb left by some incontinent animal on the ground.i dont think they have anal retentive issues there. so be warned and prepare for outdoor thrills coz nature is full of surprises for the outdoor enthusiast